Eleven months. It has been 11 months. Almost a year. We have watched the first Spring arrive, the flowers blooming the day she died, May 1. We have seen the first summer pass. One that should have been filled with fun summer memories of camps, and theme parks, and lazy days at the beach. We […]
One Less Second Grader
Signs of back to school are everywhere. For some parents it might be a relief. Summer is over, and the school schedule is a welcome change. For bereaved parents, signs of torture are everywhere. Over-sized backpacks, school supplies, car drop off and pick up lines. It’s a sucker punch to the gut. Everywhere you look […]
I Will Carry You
by Angela Miller A mother’s love. A mother’s grief. Tahlequah is every grieving mom. If only grieving parents had this kind of support to help bear the weight of grief. Compassionate grief support like this should be the norm. Instead it’s few and far between. Where are the human orcas for grieving parents mourning the loss of […]
You’re So Strong
by Angela Miller When you lose a child so many people tell you how strong you are. For those of us who have lost a child “strong” is usually the exact opposite of how we feel. It often shuts down the conversation, inhibits us from taking off our mask and being honest about how we’re […]
Easy for You to Say
A few years ago— in the early years of grief— after having one too many clichés flung in my face, through a mess of tears, I wrote this. Then I daydreamed about the next time someone clichés all over me— instead of nodding and smiling while crying inside, or kindly educating them about a more […]
1055 Days
Guest post by Jill Burnham Our youngest son Wesley was killed on December 19, 2014. He was six weeks away from his third birthday and so excited for Christmas. He didn’t ask for toys for Christmas, but he was very specific with his wish list. He wanted a navy blue electric “gee-tar”– as he affectionately […]
Why We Will Never Get Over It
by Angela Miller Unfortunately bereaved parents get judged often. By those who know us and by those who don’t. We are often criticized and pathologized for grieving (for remembering our child.) People erroneously think we are stuck, depressed, and/or clinically-something, if we still cry, ache, and miss our child; if we still remember them; if we continue […]
This Crappy Club Called Child Loss
by Angela Miller Sometimes grief makes me feel like I’m losing my mind. Like my brain has been hijacked. A few weeks ago, I read the beginning of a sentence over and over again about twenty or thirty times. It took me almost that long to figure out why my brain couldn’t makes sense of […]
What Mother’s Day Is Like For Grieving Moms
by Angela Miller Earlier this week we invited you to speak your truth about Mother’s Day. We were flooded with hundreds of responses: the raw truth about what Mother’s Day is really like for you– grieving moms. Moms who often feel there is no place for you anymore on this day. No place for you to honor […]
Let Me Tell You Who I Am Now
by Angela Miller I am still a person like you, with a life like yours, yet not. I am still a mother like you, yet not at all like you, all at the same time. I wish there was some way you could understand me, without becoming who I am now. You see, there’s a […]
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