by Angela Miller Here’s where you should have stood last August on your 1st day of school. Here’s where you should have stood today on your last day of school. First day. Last day. With a year of missed milestones in between. It almost looks like the same picture— but it’s not. The seasons have changed.Another […]
I Wish I Could Watch You Grow Up
Today you should be turning thirteen. Thirteen. Your friends are starting to get facial hair, and it’s hard for me to wrap my mind around how that can be. Today is your birthday. Today should be the first day of your teenage years. Instead you’re forever two. Instead I will celebrate yet another one of […]
This Is What It Feels Like: Another Birthday Without You
It’s here. Another birthday. Another birthday without you. I’ve done this eleven times before– yet it never seems to get any easier. No matter how many years go by, there never feels like a “right” way to celebrate your birthday without you here. It feels wrong on every level, from the top of my head, […]
One Less Second Grader
Signs of back to school are everywhere. For some parents it might be a relief. Summer is over, and the school schedule is a welcome change. For bereaved parents, signs of torture are everywhere. Over-sized backpacks, school supplies, car drop off and pick up lines. It’s a sucker punch to the gut. Everywhere you look […]
I Will Carry You
by Angela Miller A mother’s love. A mother’s grief. Tahlequah is every grieving mom. If only grieving parents had this kind of support to help bear the weight of grief. Compassionate grief support like this should be the norm. Instead it’s few and far between. Where are the human orcas for grieving parents mourning the loss of […]
You’re So Strong
by Angela Miller When you lose a child so many people tell you how strong you are. For those of us who have lost a child “strong” is usually the exact opposite of how we feel. It often shuts down the conversation, inhibits us from taking off our mask and being honest about how we’re […]
Easy for You to Say
A few years ago— in the early years of grief— after having one too many clichés flung in my face, through a mess of tears, I wrote this. Then I daydreamed about the next time someone clichés all over me— instead of nodding and smiling while crying inside, or kindly educating them about a more […]
1055 Days
Guest post by Jill Burnham Our youngest son Wesley was killed on December 19, 2014. He was six weeks away from his third birthday and so excited for Christmas. He didn’t ask for toys for Christmas, but he was very specific with his wish list. He wanted a navy blue electric “gee-tar”– as he affectionately […]
Why We Will Never Get Over It
by Angela Miller Unfortunately bereaved parents get judged often. By those who know us and by those who don’t. We are often criticized and pathologized for grieving (for remembering our child.) People erroneously think we are stuck, depressed, and/or clinically-something, if we still cry, ache, and miss our child; if we still remember them; if we continue […]
This Crappy Club Called Child Loss
by Angela Miller Sometimes grief makes me feel like I’m losing my mind. Like my brain has been hijacked. A few weeks ago, I read the beginning of a sentence over and over again about twenty or thirty times. It took me almost that long to figure out why my brain couldn’t makes sense of […]
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